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cons first

About a month ago, my phone jumped in the washing machine for a swim. It drowned like a newborn kitten. And for the first time in recorded history, the replacement insurance came in handy. Except that the new phone is terrible. The old one was rugged and tough, courageous in the face of... everything. It was everything I ever wanted in a cell phone I could afford. The replacement, which looks exactly the same, is terrible. It's flimsy and frail, cowering in the face of... everything. Here's a rundown.

Things I Hated About the Old Phone
1. Nothing. Unless you count its penchant for swimming.

Things I Liked About the Old Phone
1. Everything.

Things I Hate About the New Phone
1. It charges on a whim.
2. It turns itself off. Constantly. Sometimes while powering on. Even when it's (miraculously) charged.
3. I've dropped it three times from waist level and nearly 90% of its plastic is missing.
4. Pretty much everything.

Things I Like About the New Phone
1. I can give myself a fun little shock if I lick that little part of exposed circuitry beneath the screen.
2. It doesn't explode on my face. Often.

4 Responses to “cons first”

  1. # Anonymous bekah

    It's time to upgrade your phone! You need to get one that's made by the stingrays because then it'd kick that wash machine's ass.  

  2. # Anonymous Chickie

    You need to give up having a cell phone. Or stop licking the circuit board. But if you do lick it again, could you video it for us?  

  3. # Anonymous washerserviceanonymous

    maybe if you wash it, it will toughen up  

  4. # Anonymous swells!

    it's the small things that keep life interesting, rob.

    i like to stay up really really late, wake up really really, then go to class and see how much nonsense comes out of my sleep-deprived drunken state.  

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