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Sonic Crispy Jalapeño Strips, we hardly knew ye. Your term here with us was but a grain in the sands of time. One day you appeared on the drive-in menu, tempting us with flavor. And you delivered. You married the tart spiciness of light jalapeños with the tried-and-true magic of deep-fried batter.

But one day, you were no more. A scratchy intercom relayed the news of your passing, and we mourned as one. Rivers of grief streamed from our eyes as we sat in stunned silence.

We turned to Tater Tots for comfort, wallowing in grease-soaked potato pockets of dissatisfaction. Nothing could replace the delicate aroma of golden batter or the palate-pleasing conundrum of flavor that you brought to the world.

And though you were taken before your time, it's our hope that you've gone on to the great big seat cushion crack in the sky. The eternal picnic. The quick-cuisine hereafter. You will be missed, Sonic Crispy Jalapeño Strips. And we will never forget you.

5 Responses to “eulogy”

  1. # Anonymous Doc

    Sonic Crispy whatevers, what were they? Potatoe pockets of DISSATISFACTION? What is wrong with you? As Napolean Dynamite would I am sure tell you, Tots are the tried-and-true, the ever present, the ones you can always count on. Not like some latin hussy stripped jalaeno or whatever it is, who is here today and gone tomorrow... I noticed you came back begging to the Tots when your hispanic fling fried up.  

  2. # Anonymous bekah

    I think this needs to be sent to Sonic, so they know how hard you're taking it.  

  3. # Anonymous swells!

    i'm touched deeply, and i didn't even know the poor guys.  

  4. # Anonymous jumperanonymous

    "Rivers of grief streamed from our eyes . . ." You can't talk me out of it. I am going to jump.  

  5. # Anonymous Chickie

    All things Sonic are Good. Florida Sonic isn't as good as Texas Sonic. It is one of the things that I miss.  

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