tables

USA Today: CEOs say how you treat a waiter can predict a lot about character.

This is why I do my best to make the wait staff cry every time I eat with my boss. I want him to know that I'm tough and I mean business. If I can dismantle a waiter psychologically, I can sell advertising.

The first time I interviewed, we met for lunch. When the waiter spilled some water on the tablecloth, I made him dab it up with his girlfriend's hair. Then I punched him in the gut.

When I went to an M.D. Anderson fundraiser with the big man, the waitress spilled some tomato sauce on the shoe of one of the account executives. So I got on the mic and told everyone that I heard her say that cancer wasn't really a big deal. Then I punched her in the gut.

The last time I had lunch with him, the waiter forgot to bring me some ketchup for my fries. So when he finally brought it, I made him drink the entire bottle. Then I punched him the gut. And then I made him drink the ketchup again. And that's how you know that I can sell advertising like nobody's business.

3 Responses to “tables”

  1. # Anonymous Chickie

    *laughing uncontrollably here*  

  2. # Anonymous james

    Like nobody's business... oh yeah.  

  3. # Anonymous JoeFuel

    That's a whole lotta gut punchin'.  

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