[Fancy Condominium Complex Name]


The Advertising:
We took this conveniently located property and began renovations from the ground up.  Nestled in the foothills of the [Mountain Range Name] mountains, these condos offer a secluded feel and expansive views of the desert Southwest.  Inside, you'll find open living spaces, a unique architectural style, the finest in amenities and modern paint and color schemes.  A secluded mountain setting.  Moments from downtown.  Modern urban living.  [Fancy Condominium Complex Name].


The Truth:
We bought this apartment complex because it was dirt cheap.  Nobody wanted it 'cause it was rundown and decrepit.  We painted some stuff and added a fancy gate.  You can see the mountain from the poorly paved, cracked and uneven parking lot.  Some apartments have a view of the railroad tracks and the rock quarry.  Inside, be careful not to hit your head on the fan hanging from the low ceiling.  Also, make sure your furniture is small enough to fit inside the bedrooms.  When choosing paint, choose the red.  All the other colors look like vomit.  Close to downtown.  A price tag to match.  [Fancy Condominium Complex Name].  Please buy a condo here.  Also available for a reasonable fee: our souls.

5 Responses to “real estate”

  1. # Anonymous Tracy

    You must be writing the advertising for all of the apartment realtors in Houston! :D  

  2. # Anonymous Bekah

    Oh, I've been looking for a new soul.  

  3. # Anonymous soulsearchinganonymous

    souls come cheap these days?  

  4. # Anonymous james

    Depends on which one you're looking to buy.  

  5. # Anonymous r.fuel

    I hear they have Simon Cowell's soul on special.  

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