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Canada gives gift of maple syrup

Because, really, what else is there?

OSLO (Reuters) - Grateful Canadians have given five tonnes of maple syrup to a Norwegian coach as thanks for helping cross-country skier Sarah Renner win an Olympic silver medal after her pole broke during the women's team sprint race.

Cross-country skiing. Because for Canada and Norway, really, what else is there? Canadians continue to place the blame for the broken pole solely on America.

Bjoernar Haakonsmoen became a hero in Canada for handing Renner a new pole at the Turin Games on February 14, especially because the Norwegian team finished fourth.

Other Canadian heroes: the Sasquatch, Captain Canuck and the guy who invented beer. Apply for your place on the roster today by tying a Canadian's shoes.

"It was a reflex action. I didn't even think about what I was doing," Haakonsmoen told Reuters on Wednesday after a ceremony at the Canadian embassy in Oslo to hand over a truckload of 7,400 cans of maple syrup donated as sugary thanks.

When asked who might be responsible for the impending dental care bills, Canadian officials declined comment.

"I like maple syrup, but not in these quantities," Haakonsmoen said, adding he would keep a few cans.

"And when I say a few, I mean one. Or two. Probably one."

"Much of the news we read is bleak...but your action embodied the spirit of the Olympics," Richard Page, one of the organisers of the drive to collect the cans, told Haakonsmoen. Many donors wrote messages of thanks on the cans.

In response to Page's comments, Haakonsmoen said, "Thank you. Your syrupy generosity embodies the spirit of… pancakes?"

Renner and her team mate Beckie Scott won the silver behind the Swedish team.

Despite a stirring emotional rally in the first few laps of the race, the American team realized they would rather be doing something exciting and quit.

Thousands of cans will be handed out to Norwegians around the country. A Norwegian mobile phone operator also contributed 150,000 Norwegian crowns (13,300 pounds) to Haakonsmoen's favoured anti-cancer charity.

In other news, today Canadian officials denied plans to subvert Norwegian athletes through the destruction of their strict diets.

5 Responses to “oh, canada”

  1. # Anonymous s.wells

    this is strange, but really funny.

    kind of like life.  

  2. # Anonymous Bekah

    Couldn't they have just given him hockey players? I know I'd rather be given a few Canadian hockey players than maple syrup. It's much better for your health.  

  3. # Anonymous gettingeducatedanonymous

    And all this time I thought the spririt of the Olympics was two "teammates" publicly feuding over which one participated or did not participate in opening ceremonies and little things like, uh, team events.

    "'And when I say a few, I mean one. Or two. Probably one.'" -- great line  

  4. # Anonymous JoeFuel

    mmmm.... pancakes.  

  5. # Anonymous JoeFuel

    Dad, you've got it all wrong. The spirit of the olympics is about a coach yanking two teammates aside and ordering them to punch each other in the face.  

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