[The curtain opens on a living room set, lit by two lamps. It's dark outside. Two people sit on a couch. One of them, Woman, is dozing, her mouth open and drool puddling on her shirt. The other, Man, is intently watching a digital clock he holds in his hands.]

Man: Ten!
Woman: [startled awake] Wha-
Man: Nine!
Woman: Stop!
Man: Eight!
Woman: Yelling!
Man: Seven!
Woman: Seriously!
Man: Six!
Woman: [sighs]
Man: Five!
Woman: Why did I-
Man: Four!
Woman: Agree to wait-
Man: Three!
Woman: Up for this?
Man: Two!
Woman: [sighs again]
Man: One!
[Together:]
Woman: [despondent] Zero.
Man: [exuberant] Zero!
Man: Happy OneTwoThreeFourFiveSix!
[Man picks up a bottle of champagne and shakes it.]
Woman: Don't.
Man: But-
Woman: Don't do it.
[Man lowers his arms slowly, sadly.]
Man: But it's OneTwoThreeFourFiveSix! This moment will never happen again!
Woman: Until next month in Europe.
[pause]
[Man shakes the bottle of champagne and pops the cork.]
Woman: Get out.

[Man lowers his head and shuffles off. Curtain.]