How to Write a Political Blog

1. Begin by assuming a self-important air. This is essential. Without arrogance, you might accidentally realize that no one cares about your opinion.

2. Choose a blogging method. Some people pay for domain name registration, site hosting and blogging software. Others use one of many free services. Decide what’s right for you. Keep in mind that few readers will follow your blog if you’re constantly switching from domain to domain. Pick something you can live with for a while.

3. Come to terms with your political leanings. Don’t spend too long thinking about this. The thought process will only get in your way as a political blogger, and you should start ignoring rational thought as soon as possible. You can choose one of two options. First, you could write from the conservative perspective. This could be tough, because you might need some morals. Second, you could write from the liberal perspective. This is easy because everyone’s doing it and you get to act like you’re smarter than everybody in the entire world. You also have free reign on criticism of the President. This is great, because you can spend hours at work blogging about what a moron he is while he runs an international superpower with very little support from the fourth estate. Or anyone, for that matter.

4. Practice getting very angry about even the smallest details. Clerk accidentally forgot to scan your coupon? Publicly berate her until she runs blubbering into the women’s room or oncoming traffic. Mailman dropped the letter from your mail order Russian bride in a puddle? Stab him with your letter opener. Dog peed on your lawn? Run him down with your SUV and then write a post complaining about ridiculously high gas prices.

7 Responses to “how to blog, pt.1”

  1. # Anonymous Bekah

    In order to be a blogger at ALL you need have a self-important air about you.

    Politix r 4 losahs.  

  2. # Anonymous Chickie

    Ha! Love the new header!  

  3. # Anonymous pissedanonymous

    hey, wait! how did you know I run down dogs that pee on my lawn?  

  4. # Anonymous brandi

    Permission to use this in my English classes to help teach satire? :)  

  5. # Anonymous r.fuel

    I can't tell if your request is a serious one, Brandi.

    If it is, then yes. And I'm flattered.  

  6. # Anonymous brandi

    This is a real request. I teach composition and British lit at a community college in AL. I'm always looking for clever, relevant writings for them to read...  

  7. # Anonymous r.fuel

    Thanks very much, Brandi. I think that's one of the biggest compliments I've ever received.  

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