infant

382 days ago, I was sitting at my desk when the backs of my eye sockets started to tickle. I tried to ignore it. But then I could feel it in my eardrums. And I slowly came to the realization that my brain was melting.

Work had been a little dry for the last month and a half or so. Dry like a Quaker community during Prohibition. I had nothing to do. I would write a headline or rework some body copy once or twice a week. Maybe. I spent most of my time reading, eating, mentally organizing my sock drawer, sleeping under my desk and using my toenails to create a miniature Manhattan in my filing cabinet. My brain had decided to melt into a puddle and find something better to do, like taking up residence in a bowl as soup.

Then I rediscovered blogs. I had seen some blogs before, but they were mostly personal diaries or political. And mostly boring. But somebody emailed me a link to The Darth Side. It intrigued me. I started looking into this blog thing.

Somehow [I can't remember how], I stumbled onto a blog written by Jake Christie, a college kid from Maine. It was hilarious. It inspired me. Here was a guy just writing about life and being funny. Maybe I could do something similar.

So I thought about it for a couple days. I had some trouble making up my mind. Until I found some leaky brain on the carpet under my desk after a post-lunch nap. I decided to try it.

My first post was a picture of my little brother Joe. It was supposed to be a test post. Just to make sure that everything was working. I intended to delete it after I had a couple more posts under my belt. I never did. Joe is still angry. Shortly after that post he began his extensive knife collection.

It was pretty rocky for a while. I'll be the first to admit that my posts sucked. It took a little while for my brain to solidify again.

And now words is one year old. My posts continue to bite the curb on a daily basis. But I'm more comfortable writing them and, until I got my new job, the blog was the only thing that kept my creative sanity in check.

So thanks for reading words. Your patronage is more appreciated than you know. If you're interested in making monetary contributions to the site, please check yourself into a certified medical institution. But make sure you find one with internet access. I'd be lost without you.

12 Responses to “infant”

  1. # Anonymous s. wells

    i, for one, am glad that you started writing your thoughts where i could freely peruse them.
    they've been a source of good humor and good thought in my day many a time.
    keep up the good work!  

  2. # Anonymous Doc

    Hard to believe it has been that long. Keep 'em coming... And if your readership hasn't checked out your other blog yet they should it is http://likealittlebean.blogspot.com/ that one really keeps me going!  

  3. # Anonymous purple dragon

    *thumbs up*
    Go it, man!  

  4. # Anonymous Alex

    *thumbs up*
    Hey, we love your blog!

    *notices link entitled 'sith lord' in linkages*
    *checks link address8
    *screams*
    OMG! You linked me! You linked me! Yay! Thank you!  

  5. # Anonymous s.wells

    seeing that someone commented on being linked, i too checked out your links.
    and i'm on it! yes! i made the list!  

  6. # Anonymous Chickie

    And what fine little blog is growing up to be!  

  7. # Anonymous sirenoremac

    One rough year, one tough year. Congrats bro, kepp rollin! This is the first thing I check whenever I find internet access on the road.  

  8. # Anonymous blogggraderanonymous

    A+  

  9. # Anonymous Jake

    Thanks, man. Your site is one of the few I check every day, it's consistently hilarious and inspiring. I'll buy you a drink when we're both obscenely famous writers. Until then, you should probably send me some money for inspiring you. I like hundreds and checks made out to cash.

    I guess what I'm trying to say is, I love you. I mean, keep up the good work.

    Happy blogiversary!  

  10. # Anonymous TheKnifeCollector

    Well, brother. I love you, despite that picture being your first post. Thanks for the much-needed humor.  

  11. # Anonymous TheKnifeCollector

    Awesome new banner, by the way.  

  12. # Anonymous r.fuel

    Sarah- Thanks! True to my tradition of being a jerk, I neglected to mention that your blog was another ingredient in the inspiration cake mix. Yes, I know that doesn't make any sense. Can I start calling you Swells?

    Doc- Thanks! I should tell you that I'm surprised you've read this for so long without publicly denying knowing me.

    Purple Dragon/Alex- Thanks! That linkroll is a little late coming, but I wanted to make sure that the people who linked here had the favor returned. Since you're on hiatus from all blogs but the purple dragon, I'll update the link soon.

    Sarah- Seriously. Think about the Swells thing. It could be great.

    Chickie- Thanks! It won't be long now before I have to start thinking about corporal punishment.

    Sire- Thanks! While I appreciate the sentiment, your time might be spent more wisely using the internet to do background checks on your racquetball opponents. The teeth need not have been sacrificed.

    Pop [_____anonymous]- Thanks! I should tell you that I'm surprised you've read this for so long without publicly denying fathering me.

    Jake- No, thank you. Seriously. Thank you.

    Can I still collect that drink when you're a famous writer and I've lost my job and turned to a life of hoboism?
    I don't have much cash on hand, but if I manage to dupe these suckers into sending me some, you can be sure you'll get a cut.
    Is it weird that I check your blog several times a day, sometimes hitting refresh obsessively until I burst into tears?

    Joe- Thanks! I'm glad you've recovered from your murderous rage. Just kidding! Please don't stab me!

    Another thanks to everyone who commented, those who just read, and especially to those who didn't comment because they hate me. The mean words make me cry at night.  

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