State Insurance

• Limited protection from things that suck!
• We hardly check into suspicious circumstances at all.
• Because everyone wants nice things. Especially yours.
• The biggest scam since Vegas!
• Because, by its very nature, our capitalist society alienates and neglects the unintelligent, the unmotivated and the socially inept, who are forced against their will and better judgment to turn to a life of stealing your stuff just so they can buy a bag of bread. Or some beers.
• Because we care. About your money.
• Sh*t happens. And sh*t is expensive.
• Because people get drunk and then drive around.
• Because that neighbor kid is awfully fond of matches.
• Because as our public school systems continues to neglect the needs of the nation’s youth, more and more children grow up without any sort of supervision or sense of responsibility. And then they get a car.
• Because the government lets old people drive.
• Yes, it’s hard to think about, but you’re going to die.
• Because right now, your stove could be silently leaking tasteless, odorless gas into the air and sometime around three a.m., an errant spark from your refrigerator could light that gas and turn your entire home in a raging, fiery inferno and the fire department could already be at another fire and your home and all your stuff could go up in flames, leaving nothing on your property but a smoldering black spot. Or something. You never know.