Hot Fuzz
I saw Hot Fuzz last night. Best movie of the year. Maybe my entire life. Seriously. I couldn't stop laughing. This movie is off the effing chain. Now go see it so that you'll get that joke.
Just to warn you, this movie is playing in a limited number of theaters. So, if you have friends, call up the local movieplex and demand that they screen it. Then have all your friends do the same. If you don't have any friends (or, to be fair, enough friends to make a theater add a movie to their selection), take a road trip. It may be tough, since you will have just come to the realization that you don't have any friends, but you can do it. Drive through the tears.
I saw Hot Fuzz last night. Best movie of the year. Maybe my entire life. Seriously. I couldn't stop laughing. This movie is off the effing chain. Now go see it so that you'll get that joke.
Just to warn you, this movie is playing in a limited number of theaters. So, if you have friends, call up the local movieplex and demand that they screen it. Then have all your friends do the same. If you don't have any friends (or, to be fair, enough friends to make a theater add a movie to their selection), take a road trip. It may be tough, since you will have just come to the realization that you don't have any friends, but you can do it. Drive through the tears.
The Weekend
It might as well be over already.
It might as well be over already.
A billboard for a local bank:
We don't advertise great customer service. Our customers do it for us.
Actually, that's exactly what you're doing. But congratulations. You fooled me.
We don't advertise great customer service. Our customers do it for us.
Actually, that's exactly what you're doing. But congratulations. You fooled me.
Getting this thing going again is harder than I anticipated.
Trucking!
Because you're tired of working at McDonald's. That fry grease really burns.
All the truck-stop dining you can handle!
Not lonely at all!
It's fun to use the phrase "lot lizard".
Deep-vein thrombosis! It's not as bad as it sounds!
Not as many racist hicks as you think!
The only job in the nation that you let's you eat, drink and defecate at your desk!
Ever since that Garth Brooks song, very few wives cheat on their trucking husbands!
No one will know you don't have pants on!
No pressure! Everyone expects you to drive like an a**hole!
See the country! As a blur while driving really fast and staving off a heart attack brought on by truck-stop food, stressful deadlines and all-nighters.
Because you're tired of working at McDonald's. That fry grease really burns.
All the truck-stop dining you can handle!
Not lonely at all!
It's fun to use the phrase "lot lizard".
Deep-vein thrombosis! It's not as bad as it sounds!
Not as many racist hicks as you think!
The only job in the nation that you let's you eat, drink and defecate at your desk!
Ever since that Garth Brooks song, very few wives cheat on their trucking husbands!
No one will know you don't have pants on!
No pressure! Everyone expects you to drive like an a**hole!
See the country! As a blur while driving really fast and staving off a heart attack brought on by truck-stop food, stressful deadlines and all-nighters.
They keep the thoughts in.
I'm already in trouble for putting this up. I hope you're happy. Dirtbag.
This is how we begin1.
Jim called me out2. I've neglected poor Poncho3 for far too long. I didn't feel too guilty until Jim told me about the time he beat up that old lady in the park so that he could have the last seat on the bus and get home before his computer turned itself off for the night4. He also told me a story about using hamburger buns leftovers to smother kittens, but I'm not sure how that was related to how little I've been updating5.
So even though I wanted to come back with something really great, this is where it goes from here.
1Again. Again.
2But not like that.
3That's the zebra. His name is Poncho. Or could you not remember?
4I know. I don't think that story makes any sense, either. But you'll have to take that up with Jim.
5Unless somehow, through some odd but miraculous scientific breakthrough, kittens can now browse the internet and the kitten was depressed that there was nothing new on this blog. But come on. Let's be realistic. Internet access for kittens is going to come way after the miniature pizzas from Back to the Future.
Jim called me out2. I've neglected poor Poncho3 for far too long. I didn't feel too guilty until Jim told me about the time he beat up that old lady in the park so that he could have the last seat on the bus and get home before his computer turned itself off for the night4. He also told me a story about using hamburger buns leftovers to smother kittens, but I'm not sure how that was related to how little I've been updating5.
So even though I wanted to come back with something really great, this is where it goes from here.
1Again. Again.
2But not like that.
3That's the zebra. His name is Poncho. Or could you not remember?
4I know. I don't think that story makes any sense, either. But you'll have to take that up with Jim.
5Unless somehow, through some odd but miraculous scientific breakthrough, kittens can now browse the internet and the kitten was depressed that there was nothing new on this blog. But come on. Let's be realistic. Internet access for kittens is going to come way after the miniature pizzas from Back to the Future.
This is how we begin1.
Jim called me out2. I've neglected poor Poncho3 for far too long. I didn't feel too guilty until Jim told me about the time he beat up that old lady in the park so that he could have the last seat on the bus and get home before his computer turned itself off for the night4. He also told me a story about using hamburger buns leftovers to smother kittens, but I'm not sure how that was related to how little I've been updating5.
So even though I wanted to come back with something really great, this is where it goes from here.
1Again. Again.
2But not like that.
3That's the zebra. His name is Poncho. Or could you not remember?
4I know. I don't think that story makes any sense, either. But you'll have to take that up with Jim.
5Unless somehow, through some odd but miraculous scientific breakthrough, kittens can now browse the internet and the kitten was depressed that there was nothing new on this blog. But come on. Let's be realistic. Internet access for kittens is going to come way after the miniature pizzas from Back to the Future.
6
Jim called me out2. I've neglected poor Poncho3 for far too long. I didn't feel too guilty until Jim told me about the time he beat up that old lady in the park so that he could have the last seat on the bus and get home before his computer turned itself off for the night4. He also told me a story about using hamburger buns leftovers to smother kittens, but I'm not sure how that was related to how little I've been updating5.
So even though I wanted to come back with something really great, this is where it goes from here.
1Again. Again.
2But not like that.
3That's the zebra. His name is Poncho. Or could you not remember?
4I know. I don't think that story makes any sense, either. But you'll have to take that up with Jim.
5Unless somehow, through some odd but miraculous scientific breakthrough, kittens can now browse the internet and the kitten was depressed that there was nothing new on this blog. But come on. Let's be realistic. Internet access for kittens is going to come way after the miniature pizzas from Back to the Future.
6
