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Jet passenger tries to open door in midair

Who hasn't? I mean, what's more fun than watching those oxygen bags drop from the ceiling? You know, besides filling your ear hole with fire ants...

CHANTILLY, Virginia (AP) -- A man wearing military fatigues and throwing punches into the air tried to open the exit door of a jet during a cross-country flight on Tuesday night, airline officials and passengers said.

I'm still trying to figure out why the lead in this story isn't just, "A flippin' loon tried to open a plane door DURING THE FLIGHT."

United Airlines Flight 890 from Los Angeles landed as scheduled at Washington Dulles International Airport at 8:35 p.m., said Amy Kudwa, a Transportation Security Administration spokeswoman. No one was injured.

Physically. No one was injured physically.

Ken Wolfenberger, of Whittier, California, who was on the flight, told The Associated Press in a telephone interview that he helped subdue the unruly passenger. The man wore patches on his fatigues with special forces and jujitsu champion logos, Wolfenberger said.

Clearly, the patches were fake. Our elite military personnel can be subdued by no man. Just ask Charlie Sheen.

The man had been acting strangely for about 20 minutes, then sat up, wrapped belts around his hands and threw punches into the air, Wolfenberger said.

Normal behavior: getting up and punching a flight attendant because they won't bring you anything more than two ounces of water at a time.

Wolfenberger said he heard a flight attendant yell for help and tell the man, "Sir, get your hand off the handle."

"Any time you hear a flight attendant shout 'please help,' you worry that something pretty bad is going to happen," he said.


Wolfenberger said the man was held down and punched by other passengers as he grabbed the man's leg. Air marshals then came and took custody of the man.

"Everyone else was punching the guy who tried to kill us all. I was just holding his leg. And telling them to stop. I definitely remember telling the others to stop pummeling him."

There were 138 passengers and six crew members on board, McCarthy said.

Heroes. Every single one of 'em. Well, except that one dude.

2 Responses to “news nugget”

  1. # Anonymous bekah

    They made a CSI about a situation like this years ago, which some guy turned all nutsy and wanted to open the door and the people on the plane ended up killing the guy. It went from them wanted to protect themselves and subdue the guy to killing him because of the "mob mentality." But the guy on CSI had some weird brain problem that caused him to go all whacko on the plane; this real-life guy might've been whacko before he even looked at the plane.  

  2. # Anonymous r.fuel

    I saw that one. I think it was encephalitis. Or syphilis. I always get those two mixed up.  

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