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The Visit [from the 9rules perspective]

[Open on a dimly lit, dingy hallway. 9rules stands in front of a door, checking the number hanging there with the address he has written on a small piece of paper. He slips the note into his pocket, moves his briefcase from his right hand to his left and knocks. A pause. He clears his throat. Another pause. He knocks again, slightly louder.]

Words: [From inside the door. Muffled.] Give me a second!

[A loud crash inside the apartment. Muffled cursing. A pause. Footsteps toward the door. Several locks unfasten and the door swings open hard, bouncing off the doorstop and against Words’ shoulder.]

Words: Oh. It’s you.
9rules: Hi. I’m here to-
Words: Yeah, yeah. Come in.

[Words turns around and walks inside. 9rules follows tentatively.]

Words: You want something to drink?
9rules: Sure. What do you have?

[Words scratches himself, plods to the refrigerator and opens it up to look inside.]

Words: Half a beer, grapefruit juice and water.
9rules: Well, I’m alright. Thanks, though.
Words: Suit yourself. There’s a corner store down the block if you get thirsty.

[An awkward pause. 9rules looks around. There’s a huge pile of crumpled papers lying next to a trash can underneath the desk and a pair of briefs on the floor in front of the couch.]

9rules: So, um, you’re interested in the joining the community, huh?
Words: Maybe. Mostly not. Just wanted to see what everything was about, you know?
9rules: Uh, yeah. How did you hear about us?
Words: Some guy told me.
9rules: I see.

[Another awkward pause.]

9rules: Well, is there anything you’d like to say?
Words: What for?
9rules: Well, to try to convince me why should be included in the network.
Words: Nah. If I’m good enough, I’m good enough. If I’m not, you guys can take a hike.
9rules: Okay. Well, I guess I’ll be going then.

[Another pause. Words stares out the window. The underwear rustle and a rat emerges to waddle across the floor and into a hole in the wall.]

9rules: I’ll just see myself out then.
Words: Good.

[9rules walks to the door and exits. After the door shuts, REM’s “Everybody Hurts” begins to play very loudly from inside. In the hallway, he pulls the note from his pocket and checks the address again. Twice. He walks down the hallway to the exit. Curtain.]

5 Responses to “pee oh vee”

  1. # Anonymous Colin D. Devroe

    This story is so far off... we'd at least wipe our feet before entering.  

  2. # Anonymous JoeFuel

    Wait a minute. Does the rat walk across the room with a pair of underwear draped over it?  

  3. # Anonymous r.fuel

    Colin- the foot wiping is implied.

    Joe- For a moment, yes. But if he exits before the underwear falls off, you don't see the rat. Then it's just haunted underwear.  

  4. # Anonymous JoeFuel

    Ah brother, but if you had underwear shift across the floor with a long, slender, disgusting, pink tail... the rat would be implied.  

  5. # Anonymous r.fuel

    Good point.  

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