focus

The Beginnings and Endings of Stories You Really Need to Hear the Middles Of

So we went out for ice cream…
…and that’s how I got syphilis.

We went to the mall to look for some shoes…
…and now I’m never allowed back in Great Britain.

The car rental place gave us this little, blue Geo Metro…
…and we had the hardest time buying little Bill back from the gypsies.

For our vacation, we decided to rent a boat on Lake Michigan…
…and you know, I never thought I’d say this, but those Canadian Mounties are surprisingly gentle.

When I was living in Philadelphia, me and my roommate decided to find a new apartment…
…and to the best of my knowledge, he’s still working with those Pilipino pirates somewhere in the Baltic.

It was a beautiful day, so I decided to take my daughter to the park…
…and I still don’t have any feeling in my right leg or the palms of my hands.

So I was riding this little Vespa scooter around…
…and I ended up paying the midget almost three grand.

I was sitting on my couch watching TV…
…and you know what he used to stitch up my leg? Yak hair. Yeah.

10 Responses to “focus”

  1. # Anonymous Purple Dragon

    *howls with laughter*
    Nice, man!  

  2. # Anonymous Bekah

    Brilliant.  

  3. # Anonymous Bekah

    I miss the Mexican Zebra.

    Should I get drunk to bring him back?  

  4. # Anonymous r.fuel

    Maybe?  

  5. # Anonymous Doc

    The Zebras gone and I didn't even get a T-shirt :-(  

  6. # Anonymous Bekah

    Maybe if I get drunk and wear a sombrero?  

  7. # Anonymous r.fuel

    Drunk or not, you put on a sombrero and take a picture of it and we'll bring back Juanito.  

  8. # Anonymous bekah

    What if I take a picture of my macaras instead? I don't actually HAVE a sombrero...  

  9. # Anonymous bekah

    Um... "Maracas"... wow. Please excuse my lysdexia.  

  10. # Anonymous r.fuel

    I don't know... Sombreros are so much cooler than maracas.  

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