For many, the winter months bring sniffles, sneezes, sore throats and copious amounts of multi-colored mucous. For my mucous-related maladies, I have always turned to NyQuil. Because it works1. It is the cure for the common cold, after all.

Unfortunately, that’s changing2. In the interest of the public good, it is my duty to inform you that the tried and true cold-curing formula for NyQuil has been changed. Apparently, some folks were stealing bottles upon bottles of NyQuil and distilling it to isolate the active ingredient, pseudoephedrine. Then they took the pseudoephedrine and used it to make methamphetamines3.

The concerned people of Vicks, the maker of NyQuil, decided to do something about all the stealing and hoarding4. So they replaced the pseudoephedrine in NyQuil with doxylamine succinate, which, as we all know, is completely useless5. In the fight against the common cold, that’s like replacing an Abrams tank with a rubber band gun.

I'm devastated.

But it's not the end of the world. If you’re curious about where you can still find some pseudoephedrine, pick up a bottle6 of Advil Cold & Sinus. You’ll probably have to ask the pharmacist to unlock his big glass case and get it for you, but you’ll be able to get your hands on that cold-curing7 goodness.

1And tastes delicious.
2The working part, I mean. To the best of my knowledge, the taste remains the same.
3I’m not entirely sure on this, but I think that methamphetamines are a drug8.
4And general moral and ethical decline amongst the youth of the nation.
5Just like this blog.
6Or seven
7And meth-making
8 An illegal drug, unlike NyQuil9.
9Which is completely legal but apparently not strong enough for the people who are using it to make meth.

8 Responses to “announcement”

  1. # Anonymous greentongueanonymous

    there goes the NyQuil song  

  2. # Anonymous anne arkham

    Pseudophedrine never worked for me either.  

  3. # Blogger McRyanMac

    If blogs were completely useless I wouln't be able to post my all imporant comment now would I.

    Great to hear from you.  

  4. # Blogger Joe Fuel

    You lie. NyQuil tastes like crap, and you know it. It tastes like red and green, but apparently red and green have some pretty foul tastes.

    However, Sudafed also contains pseudoephedrine. But we all know that Sudafed does nothing to put you to sleep like NyQuil does...  

  5. # Anonymous anne arkham

    That's true. It's diphenhydramine that puts you to sleep.  

  6. # Anonymous greentongueanonymous

    At least out there someone out there that knows their pharmaceuticals  

  7. # Blogger r.fuel

    I didn't mean that all blogs are useless, Ryan.

    Just this one.  

  8. # Blogger aimee

    your unending source of random information never ceases to amaze me  

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