Aimee and I went last night with her parents and brother to a private party at a miniature golf course. Invitation only (her parents received one). Everything’s free. Everything.

Two words. Awe. Some.

If I was still eight, I most certainly would be dead. My brain would have exploded at the introduction of such an incomprehensible thought as free everything. (“I don’t know what happened… He was standing there, just looking around, his eyes real wide… Then he just started kind of shaking… And then his head exploded. It was disgusting. And yet, I couldn’t look away…”)

When I was a child (physically… I’m fairly certain that my childhood remains deeply entrenched in my mental state) and I went with my family to miniature golf courses, we were ushered quickly from the game room to the golf course. Arcade games are expensive, and arcade game fun comes at the cost of a goodly number of quarter dollars. Infrequently were we allowed to participate in the other non-golf activities at such establishments. Go-karts and bumper boats can be quite expensive for a family of five. Especially when you have to pay for three and half smoldering go-karts, eight acres of hokey landscaping, and toenail transplants. It’s a long story.

Last night’s event was a child’s dream come true.

After we collected nametags and wristbands, we turned the corner to find a buffet table heavily laden with tacos, soda, and pizza. Next to the buffet stood a woman handing out plastic cups of game tokens. That’s right. Cups full of tokens. The tokens were literally flowing. Outside, the only cost incurred at the go-karts, bumper boats, or bungee trampoline was the time spent in line. Well, that and the new pants you need to purchase after your pee yourself with excitement.

It was amazing. Even now, I find it hard to adequately describe the evening. Not even the oil-burning, white-smoke-belching go-kart sitting in line in front of me for five minutes could dampen my spirits (although, the effects of the smoke on my lungs have yet to be seen, and my stance may change… I’ve heard that emphysema can be kind of a downer).

If the Bean were old enough to have attended and appreciated the event, she would be forever changed. Never again in her life could so much fun be had at a miniature golf course or any similar establishment. I imagine that such an event is kind of like heroin, except that it’s much more expensive. And heroin ruins your life. And requires needles. Other than that, they’re the same.

Pictures tomorrow.

3 Responses to “like heaven, but miniature”

  1. # Anonymous aimee

    sweet free unlimited tacos

    i ate too many  

  2. # Blogger Joe Fuel

    well, i'm jealous.  

  3. # Anonymous Anonymous

    I sorry we couldn't have granted you free everything before, but heroin is definitely dangerous. great post.  

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