game time

Slogans for attracting a hometown audience to the local bowl game:

Be there!
Teams you've never cheered for before!
Seats half as comfortable as your couch for twice to eight times the cost!
Enjoy gastrointestinal distress-inducing foods and a bathroom eighty feet away!
Your car will probably not be dinged/severely dented by drunk revelers in the parking lot!
Get in the bathroom line early if you plan on urinating!
Why watch at home?  There's nothing like seeing the all the tiny players in person!
Perfect for setting your homely daughter up with drunk frat guys!
Cheerleaders!  Expensive cheap beer!  Cheerleaders!
Odds are good you won't have to sit behind an exceptionally large man who insists on standing the entire game!
Plenty of parking two days before the game!  
Watch a drunk dude pass out on your wife's lap!

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