Couple turns tables on thieves

BERLIN (Reuters) - Wielding tables and chairs, a defiant restaurant owner and his wife chased three armed robbers out of their west Berlin eatery, police said Wednesday.

Imagine what your childhood would have been like if you had these people as parents. Two words: pure terror. You would probably spend 10-12 hours a day quivering in fear. Just quivering and rocking back and forth on your heels with your arms wrapped around your knees. And whimpering. I almost forgot the whimpering.

The men, brandishing a pistol and a knife, broke into the Chinese restaurant shortly after it closed Tuesday night. The owner, 54, and his wife, 51, attacked the gang with furniture.

Now imagine having one of these guys for a father. He can’t rob a Chinese restaurant with a gun; how’s he going to punish his children without heavy artillery? You'd probably give him a rousing beating every night before you went to bed. And kick him in the face every morning to wake him up so he could make you pancakes.

"The owner and his wife reacted quickly," said a police spokesman. "They picked up tables and chairs and threw them at the suspects, and chased them out."

Honestly, this is just crazy. Armed thieves defeated by flying furniture. Furniture. I think my brain is about to eat itself just trying to imagine it.


Just bad:

Sheep star in new reality show

ZAGREB (Reuters) - Croatia has launched a new reality show on the Internet, starring sheep instead of people.

Because reality TV really is that bad.

Those voted out of the seven-member herd might be eaten, the Vecernji List daily reported Wednesday.

Yes, they might be eaten. Or they might be left to live for the series 2: Wolf in Sheep's Clothing. I'm still working on the script, but basically the wolf eats the unsuspecting sheep.

The show can be followed 24 hours a day on website, where visitors can see how the sheep feed and interact with each other.

Great news for insomniacs. And freaks who love sheep.

Organizer Sinisa Labrovic told the daily, " We've called a vet for those sheep that were in poorer shape. I am not an insensitive bastard who abuses animals."

“No, I am an insensitive bastard who abuses humans with terrible television programming. And I love it. Almost as much as I love sheep.”

2 Responses to “news nuggets”

  1. # Blogger anaglyph

    Sheep? That's just silly.

    Now if we were talking about a reality tv show with cows...  

  2. # Blogger Joe Fuel

    Here's one... cows are voted off by the consistency of their pie...  

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