This is most likely true.

'Merman' spotted in Caspian

Fishermen claim to have spotted an amphibious creature resembling a human in the Caspian sea.

When they say creature, they mean person. And when they say amphibious, they mean dead. And when they say human, they mean Bill, who they tied up with a chain and threw overboard last week.

"At the beginning we thought it was a big fish, but then we spotted hair on the head of the monster and his fins looked pretty strange, the front part of his body was equipped with arms."

“His feet were equipped with a diesel outboard motor, and his eyes were equipped with hull-piercing laser-vision.”

Eyewitness say the marine humanoid is about 5ft 6ins, of strong build with a protruding stomach, webbed hands and black-green hair.

So, while it looks like it’s pretty hard to find a good barber at the bottom of the Caspian Sea, there are a multitude of fine local eateries specializing in deep-fried foods. I recommend the beer-battered oil drum. Delicious.

2 Responses to “news nugget”

  1. # Anonymous Anonymous

    hah! since those Iranians are NOT developing nuclear weapons, it must be just another step in the man's evolutionary process.  

  2. # Blogger anaglyph

    All I can say is that with International Talk Like a Pirate Day on the horizon, you're going to get a lot of these goings-on in the next week or so.

    Now, did I tell you my lobster story?  

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