The only thing this guy retained from kindergarten:

Man Launches Ice Cream Stick Viking Ship

AMSTERDAM, Netherlands - A former Hollywood stunt man now living in the Netherlands launched his greatest project to date Tuesday: a 45-foot replica Viking ship made of millions of wooden ice cream sticks and more than a ton of glue.

During the construction process, hundreds of bottles of glue went missing on a daily basis. Mysteriously, grades at the nearby high school dropped dramatically.

Rob McDonald named the ship the "Mjollnir" after the hammer of the mythic Norse god of thunder, Thor. After the 13 ton boat was lifted into the water by crane, "Captain Rob," as he is known, stood calmly on the stern as a team of volunteers rowed the apparently sturdy vessel around the IJ River behind the city's central station.

One alternative naming consideration was “Zeitverschwendung,” which is German for “an enormous waste of time.”

The inside of the boat was reinforced with fiberglass and it can be propelled by its modern mast and sail, or oars, or a backup motor.

So, in other words, the boat is not really made of popsicle sticks. They’re more of an adornment. An accessory, if you will. Like earrings. Or bracelets. Or hair.


Yes, but very few can switch-hit.

Study: Most Wild Chimps Are Southpaws

WASHINGTON - When it comes to fishing tasty termites out of their mounds, wild chimpanzees don't have the right stuff. Most, in fact, are southpaws. A three-year study of 17 wild chimps in Gombe National Park, Tanzania, found that 12 of them used their left hands when using sticks to probe for termites

In other news, several obscure scientists committed group suicide today after realizing that their once-promising careers had amounted to watching apes dig for bugs eight hours a day for the last three years. A note found at the scene read, “I just wanted to help people. Now there's monkey poop on everything I own. Those suckers can throw like Nolan Ryan.”

5 Responses to “news nuggets”

  1. # Blogger Joe Fuel

    Interesting. Mjolnir is also the name of the armor our favorite Covenant-whooping, cyborg bada**.

    And, brother, if I ever use my biology degree for something this trivial. Beat me to death with my own research papers.

    Seriously though, you can chalk the left-handed monkeys thing in the realm of "science can only prove things that we don't give a flip about" column.  

  2. # Blogger Joe Fuel

    By the way, if I had to pick from the two Mjolnir's, I would totally take the armor.

    Popsicle sticks are for pansy boys.  

  3. # Anonymous Anonymous

    Did Captain Rob and his mighty crew also sing that famous viking warrior song: "Row, row, row, your boat . . ."?  

  4. # Anonymous Anonymous

    how did you know the meaning of “Zeitverschwendung"?  

  5. # Blogger r.fuel

    Joe, I did notice that the Master Chief also has some Mjolnir action of his own, and you're right, his is way better than a popsicle-stick-gilded rowboat.

    Pop, Captain Rob actually paid the Vienna Boys Choir to sing Row, Row, Row Your Boat in falsetto round from the shore during the launch.

    And I've been taking German in my spare time in an attempt to infiltrate and disarm the German techno underground.  

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