My grandfather is old.

Now that you've had some time to let that sink in, you'll understand why he needed heart surgery. And a few weeks ago, he went to California to have his surgery done. He and my grandmother drove out there, he had his surgery, and they flew back after his recovery time.

When my grandmother was wondering out loud about how to get the car home, my little brother Joe volunteered to go pick it up. Last weekend, he flew out there and spent the weekend on a whirlwind tour of southern California's beaches, wine, and women, sparking a legendary tale that will be passed down from generation to generation of gas station attendants and bowling alley shoe cleaners.

Actually, he ate sushi with my aunt and uncle. And watched his friend play Tiger Woods Golf. And then he drove the car back home.

When Joe returned the car to our grandparents, they compensated him with a generous sum of cash money for his troubles. And instead of rushing out to buy insane amounts of food or clothing or edible clothing, Joe bought an Xbox. And gave it to me. Just so we could meet up on Xbox live and play Halo2.

Thanks, Joe. You are far too kind.