Couple threatens woman with Antichrist spawn

PALERMO, Italy (Reuters) - An Italian couple stole 50,000 euros from a woman in the Sicilian city of Palermo after convincing her they were vampires who would impregnate her with the son of the Anti-Christ if she did not pay them.

Nothing ruins your life like giving birth to the son of the Antichrist. I mean, how's that gonna look on your dating resume? "No, really. It's over between us. He just refused to put the toilet seat down. What a jerk."

Disneyland kills Lady and the Tramp's the Tramp

HONG KONG (Reuters) - Dozens of stray dogs roaming around the new Walt Disney theme park in Hong Kong have been rounded up and put down as the company prepares to open the park in September, a newspaper said Monday.

"Sure, he was great in the movie, and it grossed us a couple million dollars, but he just wouldn't stop drinking out of the toilet. And 101 dalmations are a lot harder to take care of than you would think. I mean, there's poo everywhere."

Although the Post said the figure was around 40, Disney said it did not know how many dogs had been put down.

"Because, frankly, we don't care. At all. Buy all our DVDs, kids!"

3 Responses to “nuggets o' news”

  1. # Anonymous Anonymous

    Never trust a vampire  

  2. # Anonymous aimee

    or the antichrist  

  3. # Anonymous Anonymous

    or Disney . . . apparently  

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