Record-Setting Speeder Remains Anonymous

A motorcyclist captured on film by German police racing at 155 miles per hour on a road near Berlin has set a new unofficial national record for speeding, Bild newspaper reported Monday.
Travelling more than twice the speed limit, the motorcycle rider was caught on film in a police radar trap near Bad Freienwalde outside Berlin but authorities don't know who the speeder was because motorcycles have no front license plates.

Mysteriously, thousands of German citizens across the nation applied today for financing on brand-new sport bikes.


Suspect Escapes from Los Angeles Jail

Los Angeles police are trying to figure out how a robbery suspect managed to cut a hole in the wall of a cell and escape through a 15-by-9-inch hole in the space of an hour.
The suspect, described as a 20-year-old homeless man, 5 feet 6 inches tall and weighing 160 pounds, escaped from a holding cell at a police station early Thursday morning.
Police said he appeared to have cut or torn a hole in the cell's drywall and ripped up a metal security mesh sandwiched inside the wall before crawling out and leaving through a fire exit.

Mysteriously, thousands of petty hoods in L.A. rushed into hardware stores today and stole drywall hammers.

Police Lt. Carlos Islas said, "Clearly there's a hole in the wall."

Thanks, Lieutenant. You can call dispatch and tell them to send the detectives back to the station. They won't be needed.