And you kids better stay off his lawn, too.

Grandfather kills leopard with his bare hands

A 73-year-old Kenyan grandfather reached into the mouth of an attacking leopard and tore out its tongue to kill it, authorities said Wednesday.
Peasant farmer Daniel M'Mburugu was tending to his potato and bean crops in a rural area near Mount Kenya when the leopard charged out of the long grass and leapt on him.
M'Mburugu had a machete in one hand but dropped that to thrust his fist down the leopard's mouth.

Now, I was pretty impressed by the pizza guy who got shot and fought back, but he may have some competition. The pizza guy was young. This guy is old. Really old. 73-years-old in Kenya is like 150 in the U.S. And instead of using the deadly piece of steel (standard issue killing tool for the Rwanda Militia) he had in his hand, he reached inside the leopard's mouth (which, may I remind you, was full of razor-sharp, flesh-tearing, life-ending teeth) and ripped out the animal's tongue. That's a killing method you only see in the movies. And only in the really sick, twisted ones.

Sweet. Cinnamon. Gravy. If the pizza guy deserved a movie deal, so does this guy. And someone to tend his garden for him.