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[The curtain opens on a priest, sitting in a dim confessional booth. An organ plays hymns lightly in the background. A man in a striped shirt enters.]

Stripes: Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been one year since my last confession.
Priest: May the Lord be in your heart and upon your lips, that you may worthily confess all your sins. In the Name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Stripes: Yesterday afternoon I was dishonest. I cheated several men of what was rightfully theirs. I am responsible for their heartache and despair. My actions caused them great pain. In a sense, I stole from them.
Priest: Is that all?
Stripes: No. I lied to my superiors when I told them that I could do my job impartially. That I would be honest and fair in my decisions.
Priest: Anything else?
Stripes: Um, yes. I, um… had relations… with three women… at once.
Priest: Hmm. Really.
Stripes: Yes.
[long pause]
Stripes: What is it?
Priest: I’ve never had anyone lie to me during confession before.
Stripes: What do you mean?
Priest: Oh, come on. One woman… maybe. But three? There are rock stars who aren’t that popular. No Super Bowl ref is ever gonna see that kind of action.

1 Responses to “confessions”

  1. # Anonymous luke

    Perfect.  

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