^{German Willi Chevalier, contestant in the category partial beard, freestyle, poses in Berlin, during the World Beard and Moustache Championships.}

The World Beard and Moustache Championships were held in Berlin on Saturday. The grueling competition schedule:

2:00 p.m. Gala Opening

2:30 p.m. Moustache Competition

4:00 p.m. Partial Beard Competition

5:30 p.m. Full Beard Competition

8:30 p.m. Award presentation during evening live-music program.

What does the gala opening entail? From the looks of most of the contestants, probably eating large quantities of fried food and drinking quite a bit of delicious, German beer.

A slight panic broke out at 3:47 pm, when a naked man with a fistful of razors ran screaming through the venue. A collective sigh of relief rose from the crowd when he was tackled and taken captive by a group of clean-shaven and unafraid police officers.

In reviewing the rules, the astute reader will notice (since it's the only rule in bold) that protesting a judge's ruling results in immediate disqualification. Those facial hair judges rule with an iron fist, and are not to be questioned.

The Americans in attendance this year spent last week in Munich at the weeklong Oktoberfest. Because what better reason is there for going to a facial hair competition than having just finished an intensive week of drinking lots and lots of alcohol?

World champion and hometown favorite Jürgen Draheim, 65, said that he spends an average of an hour a day grooming his sideburns. (No snide comment because, really, it speaks for itself.)

For an in-depth look at the seedy world of competitive beard-growing, visit The Beard Team USA Blog.